saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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