I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
