My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
