discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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