Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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