The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
