so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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