Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
