I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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