im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize