I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
