Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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