why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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