i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize