The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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