I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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