she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
