I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
