some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
