I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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