i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
