SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
