i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
