she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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