we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's shark week go big or go home
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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