i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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