you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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