apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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