it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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