I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
