Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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