Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I came so hard my ears popped.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
