break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
