Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
