And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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