We're like a lot better than the average bears
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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