I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
