He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How does it feel to date your dad?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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