Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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