I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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