Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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