Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
