i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
