Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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