She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
