She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
