i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
