The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I supernannyed him into submission
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize