My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize