State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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