so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so that wasnt chicken after all
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
