Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
