I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
