i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i was born a porn star she said
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
