I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
