I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
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