I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
