Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
