he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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