I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
These tits shall not be calmed
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
