I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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