we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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