Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
