The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
