i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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