you would pick up someone in the library
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm sobbing to NWA
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
