Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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