all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
how does that bad decision feel?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
