i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
