whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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