Did you just see the Batmobile???
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
