My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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