sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize