He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
