Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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