I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
